South Africa Falls to 90 in Fifa Rankings

Hard not to feel pessimistic about the Bafana Bafana Bafana. (If the same name twice is good, can't three be better?) South Africa's soccer team hasn't had an impressive performance since the Confederations Cup, which was in June, and by "impressive" we mean spirited defeats to Brazil and Spain.

The new Fifa world rankings are out, and South Africa's fall to No. 90 has alarmed and depressed the Johannesburg Times. Well, anyone in South Africa who is paying attention. Rankings are for show, but when they have Brazil and Spain at the top we must concede that perhaps the list has some basis in reality. Or predictable performance, anyway.

Concepts to consider:

--South Africa will be the lowest-ranked team to host a World Cup. (Previous low: South Korea at No. 40 in 2002.) And absolutely is at risk of becoming the first host not to survive group play. We can assume the Bafana Bafana Bafana will play better than they are, in front of home crowds, but will it be enough to earn them results against Mexico, France and Uruguay? Seems as if the first match, vs. Mexico, is critical. A point out of that changes everything for the BBB. A defeat might just do the impossible: Silence the vuvuzelas.

--Brazil is back up to No. 1, slipping past Spain. Seems about right. Lots to like about Spain, but hard to rank them over Brazil, especially with the coldly efficient Carlos Caetano Bledorn Verri (Dunga) coaching the team. All that Brazilian talent inside an actual system? Look out.

--Portugal is third, its highest ranking since Fifa began doing this in 1993. Which is interesting, because the global opinion of Portugal seems to be that it was a bit lucky to make the tournament at all. And certainly this crop of players is not remotely as well-received as the Luis Figo generation, considered a darkhorse choice to win it all in 2002. Remember, Portugal is stuck in the 2010 Group of Death (along with Brazil and Ivory Coast and the Walking Dead, North Korea). If Cristiano Ronaldo and the lads survive Ivory Coast and escape the group, the rankings would seem to indicate Portugal has a fairly good chance of seeing Brazil again -- in the final.

--The highest rankings that don't quite feel right begin with Argentina at No. 7 (Maradona is still coach, right?), continue with England at No. 8 (a bit low for a team that has won everything for a while now), Croatia at No. 9 (third in their qualifying group and not in the World Cup), France at 10 (hello! Raymond Domenech still coach!), and then Greece, Egypt, the United States and Chile at Nos. 12-15. Are they really surpassed by only 11 teams?

--More meaningful rankings are on the way. Fifa's story on the April rankings notes that almost no international matches were played in the past month, so teams are moving around incrementally bases on minimal results. As the story notes, we can anticipate some serious movement when the last batch of rankings come out, one month hence, after a whole bunch of pre-Cup friendlies are played. Read more!

Capello's Folly: WAGs Welcome in England Camp

Lamest idea of the week. No question. Maybe a World Cup-turning decision.

Mario Capello, England's heretofore no-nonsense coach who last year had made clear that his players would have very limited time with WAGs -- the infamous "Wives And Girlfriends" -- has changed his mind.

Capello now says the WAGs are all right.

What a horrible decision.

England already is the most distracted team in the world. No. Really. Because on top of the usual pressure to win the World Cup, it adds the scary brew of ...

--The world's most voracious tabloid media. These guys love love love the WAGs. And the WAGs love them, too. But it has nothing to do with soccer. Which automatically makes it bad for a soccer team.

--This is now a real distraction. As it was in 2006, when (far as I can tell) the term WAGs became popular. Players need to focus on matches. Not on their girlfriends' demands or complaints or relatives.

--Capello just blinked. He was the Vince Lombardi of soccer ... but suddenly he went all Sven-Goran Ericksson on us -- Sven-Goran being the coach who allowed the WAGs to turn the England camp in Baden-Baden to turn into "a circus" in 2006.

I don't get this. Why the reversal? The players seemed to have come to grips with his original decision. They might even have been happy about it (but would never tell their own WOG -- wife or girlfriend).

Now, the 2010 World Cup could again become about the hangers on.

Capello apparently chatted with coaches, including Marcello Lippi (coach of the 2006 champs from Italy), guys who don't have the same approach to the game as he does, and they apparently convinced him the players' happiness was critical. And they are happy when the WAGs are around, he seems to think.

I beg to differ.

Capello's original plan of access to players only on the days after matches ... was perfect. A break from the grind of the World Cup. But not a lasting distraction. Just right.

He apparently has not made clear how much more access the WAGs will have ... but it's more than they were going to have.

Oh, and if you followed that link, click on the link to "In Pictures" ... and you will get an idea of what the 2006 World Cup was like. With the often silly wives and girlfriends of often silly footballers becoming as big a story as the team.

Madness.

It's not too late for Capello to change his mind again. Maybe he will sense all of England cringing at the decision and go back to the one-day-per-match decision.

The man who was the Iron Hand of English soccer ... just went limp. He went squishy. Which is not what he does ... but he just did it.

Mark it down as the first time the Three Lions "blinked" at the 2010 World Cup. We're guessing it won't be the last, what with the WAGs now in tow.
Read more!

The Matches No One Wants to See

Happens at every World Cup. Tickets for certain matches are available ... for a long time.

Maybe forever.

All 64 matches may be declared sellouts, but if you go see X number of the less glamorous matches in person, you see the empty seats. An accounting trick: "Tickets sold," but not to people who plan to use them. Have the groundskeepers get the tarps ready for the end zones.

So, which nations can expect some wide open spaces in the stands when they play at South Africa 2010?

Here are the five group-play matches for which tickets remain at every price level. (Information courtesy of the Johannesburg Times.) And, no, North Korea is not on the list!

--Algeria vs. Slovenia in Polokwane. Comment: What? A poor North African country vs. a tiny Balkan country most of the world doesn't know from Slovakia? You can't sell that out?

--Honduras vs. Chile in Nelspruit. Comment: Wait, a poor Central American country against a South American country so skinny you can spit from the Argentina border into the Pacific Ocean? You can't sell that out? Probably, like, 100 people from Nicaragua will be in South Africa. You still can be the team mascot if you can afford the serape.

--Chile vs Switzerland in Port Elizabeth. Comment: What is with all the hating on Chile? They just had a 9.9-magnitude earthquake, people. Can't some church groups show up and cheer for the plucky survivors? And I know the problem with Switzerland: Everybody feels neutral about them.

--Australia vs. Serbia in Nelspruit. Comment: Wow. I thought that Southern Hemisphere cricket/rugby solidarity thing mattered. But no. South Africans won't see the Aussies play? Could be Serbia be part of the problem. What about the enormous Serbian community in Nelspruit? You know, that family that is always at the mosque? Oh, those are Bosnians?

--Paraguay vs. New Zealand in Polokwane. Comment: Hello? Southern Hemisphere solidarity? A cruel joke. And Paraguay is part of the problem. Quick, name one city or one player from Paraguay! Time's up! Answer: Asuncion ... and The Guy Who Got Shot in the Bar in Mexico. OK, then, how about a shout out for Polokwane? Wouldn't you pay to see anybody play there? Polokwane, anyone?

Anyway ... tickets remain available for these five matches. Lots of them. Pretty much anywhere you want to sit. Better hurry. Or not. Read more!

More English Anticipation of Success

We haven't had one of these for, oh, maybe a week now? We're overdue.

Here is the latest: Former England coach Glenn Hoddle is the latest to suggest/predict/assume England will win South Africa 2010. Not just get out of the group stage, and advance in the knockout stage.

But to win the whole thing.

And you know what this means?

We are getting close to every single Englishman publicly stating that "this is England's year!" Which, of course, is what happens in England every four years. Which is followed by a rather astonishing collective amnesia when England is knocked out in the quarterfinals via penalties. "We knew they had no chance. Poor lads."

What does Hoddle like about the 2010 team?

Well, first he suggests the 1998 England team "looked stronger." And the 1998 team went out against Argentina in, what was it (heck, I was there, I ought to remember; the match where Becks was red-carded), the quarterfinals in St. Etienne?

So, the 2010 squad isn't quite as strong, but it can win. Gotcha.

If everyone is healthy, Hoddle said. Especially Wayne Rooney. This team's "one special player."

And Hoddle said that probably within hours of Rooney suffering a groin injury that apparently has ended his Premier League season. Rooney has said he will be fine by June 12, when England plays the United States in its first World Cup match, but groins are tricky muscles. And he wasn't quite over that ankle, either.

Hoddle also sees midfielders Steven Gerrard and Frank Lampard as key contributors, as well as fullbacks Ashley Cole and Glen Johnson. (And who mans the other forward spot, Sir Glenn? Oh, that's right: you weren't knighted for losing in the quarters.)

And here is the particularly deadly part of the English Victory Disease: An assumption that escaping the group phase is inevitable. (Followed by the immediate projection about coasting through the knockout phase until at least the semifinals.)

Said Hoddle: "I don't see a problem with the group stage, although there are no easy games in the World Cup, and there will be a lot of pressure on us, but I cannot see us not going through to the knockout stages.

"We are on the right side of the draw, so we won't probably play Brazil or Spain until the semis. All in all there are a lot of good signs that England can go an awful long way in this tournament."

And now, it's up to England to support the lads. Which they will, right up until that heartbreaking defeat, when they will turn on them like rabid dogs.

Said Hoddle: "Now all that is important is that the country gets behind (coach) Fabio (Capello) and the team and that we all have a really good summer and hopefully bring back the World Cup."

Sure. Nothing to it. Happens every 44 years. Read more!

Sepp Blathering about African Football

Fifa boss Sepp Blatter is one of those guys with no inner dialogue. Anything that pops into his head comes right back out of his mouth. If he were anyone else -- you know, a guy who was held responsible for saying silly things after he'd said about a thousand of them -- he would lose his job as Fifa president and be doing commentary on ESPN-Switzerland.

Now we have Sepp making generalizations about African football, and when Sepp starts making global generalizations he is sure to say something he perhaps means as a compliment (no, really) and it comes out sounding like anything but.

So, here is the link to the story of Sepp yakking during a video press conference from Zurich the other day.

The most interesting thing Sepp said is this:

That African football players have more skill than "even Brazilians and Europeans" ...

So why do they struggle on the world stage? Sepp knows that one, too. They "lack continuity and good tactics."

There's more:

--Sepp hopes an African team makes the semifinals. Which may be more than a little disturbing, six or so weeks from now, to the non-African team that gets the last African team in the quarterfinals. Will referees remember what the Fifa president wanted? An African team in the semis. And can you imagine the leader of any other major sport expressing that sort of specific competitive result in a sport he runs with an iron hand?

--Sepp is disappointed that three of Africa's six teams (Nigeria, Ivory Coast and South Africa) have changed coaches within the past six months. "Changing coaches at the last minute is not help Africa's cause," Coach Blatter said.

--He also had a bulb go off, apparently, and he told the South Africans listening to the video conference that Bafana Bafana would not advance if they don't score goals. (This, after South Africa played North Korea to a scoreless draw.)

Well, thanks for that insight, Sepp. Except that a team can advance without scoring a goal. (Three scoreless draws, one team in the group wins its other two matches, the other two teams tie each other. Then the three-scoreless-ties team finishes second with three points, behind one team with seven points and ahead of the two with two points. Sheesh. You'd think he knew this.)

We will have more bon mots out of Sepp's mouth before this is over. Count on it. Read more!

Platini Trashes Domenech

That one had to sting.

France's coach, Raymond Domenech, being pilloried by French soccer hero Michel Platini?

Ouch.

That's like a German being rubbished by Frank Beckenbauer. A Dutchman being lambasted by Johan Cruyff.

Platini not only was a great player, like those other two he has become a very important administrator. (President of UEFA, to be precise.)

And when he levelled some blasts at coach Domenech and the French team ... well, that says something, and it's not good, for France.

We have not been impressed with Domenech for some time now, going back to qualifying for this World Cup. Well, actually, back to Euro 2008, when the French stunk it up. And Domenech had that bizarre episode (mentioned by Platini) where he proposed to his girlfriend during a postgame session with the media.

Weird, is what it was.

What has been more telling was France's huge struggled throughout the South Africa 2010 qualifying process despite having considerable talent. (More than Platini gives France credit for.) The runner-up finish, the playoff victory over Ireland aided by the infamous Theirry Henry handball.

France has never seemed comfortable or particularly organized under Domenech. That team just doesn't look quite right, and it has been fairly amazing that France kept him on when it had a perfect opportunity to replace him after that close call vs. the Irish at Stade de France.

So, there it is. Platini says France has a "Domenech problem" ... and limited talent. The country's biggest soccer authority has quit on this French team. Pretty rough. Read more!

Making the Team

If it's seven weeks and small change until South Africa 2010 ... we are approaching the zenith of the "I should be on the team" campaign surrounding fringe players of the 32 countries in the World Cup finals.

The process is amusing, shameful, pathetic, embarrassing, selfish, painful ... all at once.

The reality of not making the World Cup team is beginning to sink in for some former stars or would-be stars. And they realize that it hurts.

In several ways.

Not making the team ...

--Means your national coaching staff and federations believe you're not ready yet to help or (worse) believe you no longer can. That is an ego blow of the first order.

Two recent examples of this one? Ronaldinho promising that Brazil will win the World Cup if only coach Dunga would add him to the roster. ... and Torsten Frings, onetime starting midfielder for Germany, campaigning (ineptly) to be added to the Mannschaft. And the flip side: A kid from Slovenia, Haris Vuckinic ruing that he probably won't make it. (The kids are never as bitter; they assume they will have more chances.)

--Not making the team means your brand is about to take a major hit. You may still be a club star, and make serious money, but when the world is watching, seven weeks hence, and you're not there? Advertisers are going to cluster around the guys on TV in South Africa, not the guys watching them on TV.

--Not making the team means that, for the fairly significant fraction of players who really enjoy putting it out there for the national side, well, you're out of it. No getting misty as they play the anthem before kickoff. No running about the stadium with a flag after that big victory.

The deadline for a 23-man provisional roster is May 12. Coming up fast. The final roster must be turned in the day before the opener, on June 10.

This is the time to campaign, and all the guys on the bubble know it. Expect more bleats similar to that from Ronaldinho. Read more!