Becks Inspires Poet Laureate

This is almost camp, really. The poet laureate of Britain, Carol Ann Duffy, has written a poem about David Beckham and his ruptured Achilles tendon. No, really. The poet laureate. Of Britain. Has done a poem about Becks.

I'm not sure it will knock Alfred Lord Tennyson out of the British canon, but I bet it's the first time Britain's poet laureate has been moved to versify about a footballer.

And if they have, I doubt thoroughly that they released it first in, yes, the Daily Mirror, one of England's scandal sheets.

Anyway, here it is. Entitled, "Achilles (for David Beckham)" Read it and weep.

Myth's river — where his mother dipped him, fished him; a slippery golden boy flowed on, his name on its lips.

Without him, it was prophesied, they would not take Troy.

Women hid him, concealed him in girls' sarongs; days of sweetmeats, spices, silver songs ...

But when Odysseus came, with an athlete's build, a sword and a shield, he followed him to the battlefield, the crowd's roar,

And it was sport, not war, his charmed foot on the ball...

But then his heel, his heel, his heel ...

All-righty then!

Clearly, this is about the original Achilles. The inspiration, of course. The "not take Troy" part ... I suppose Troy is the World Cup. The bit about "concealed him in girls' sarongs" is about Becks' famous southeast Asian period when, yes, he did wear a sarong ... and the bit about "Spice" ... well, that's wife Victoria, one of the Spice Girls ... But who Odysseus was in this poem, "with an athlete's build" ... well, feel free to enlighten us on that one.

So, when is a Portuguese poet going to get busy on Cristiano Ronaldo? Read more!