A South African Vuvuzela-Hater!

I thought it was a law: If you are South African, you love the vuvezela.

(Yes, this is Day 2 of our anti-vuvuzela campaign.)

Turns out, as this Johannesburg Times columnist notes, that the vuvuzela is a recent curse, and that before the turn of the century South Africans routinely sang before, during and after soccer matches.

Which reminds me of ...

Paul Simon, the American singer, doing an entire album -- and quite a musical one -- named "Graceland" entirely with the cooperation and collaboration of South Africans.

And here is our columnist, Mondli Makhanya, ruing the conquest of South African soccer ambience by the vile vuvuzela.

"In two weeks' time, when Bafana Bafana take on Mexico at Soccer City, there will sadly be very little singing in the stands.

"We South Africans, a mighty musical nation if ever there was one, will have replaced hearty renditions with the noise of something called the vuvuzela.

"This instrument, which emits a sound akin to that of a goat on the way to slaughter, is now at the center of a growing row in international football."

He notes that players who were at the Confederations Cup last June complained of the noise. Said Xabi Alonso: "I think Fifa should ban it. It's not really distracting, but it's not a nice sound to hear."

"Last week, football legend and Thailand coach Bryan Robson blamed the vuvuzela for his team's disjointed performance in their friendly against Bafana Bafana at Peter Mokaba stadium. He warned that it would make life difficult for coaches at the World Cup.

"The coaches at the World Cup are definitely going to have to inform their players beforehand that they will have to communicate effectively with each other on the field," the former England and Manchester United midfield dynamo said.

"It's very difficult to get any message to the players from the bench. Coaches are going to have to make that known to their players."

"Word on the street is that several coaches have voiced their disquiet to their national associations, who have in turn conveyed the message to Fifa."

Not that it's going to do any good. South Africans seem to have decided that it is a matter of national pride, which the columnist mocks.

"Predictably, South Africans have been very defensive. A lot of noise has been made about the vuvuzela being part of South African tradition and it being the proverbial 12th man in the Bafana squad ...

"Defending the vuvuzela has now become a patriotic must," the columnist wrote.

"It is as if our nationhood is being challenged by pesky foreigners who want to dictate our behavior on home soil.

"On this one I beg to be unpatriotic and for permission to side with the enemies of the vuvuzela.

"What the vuvuzela has done to our football is to take away the spontaneity of song. Soccer fans do not compose new songs any more. The tribal chants that you hear at great soccer cathedrals such as White Hart Lane and the Santiago Bernabeu are rarely heard in our soccer grounds these days. Except for the Bloemfontein Celtic support base, the music in South African stadiums has been drowned by the dreadful instrument."

I'm right there with you, Mr Makhanya. I wish the vuvuzela would go away. I am pleased you have cited local history for its demise.

Sadly, I think both you and I will be drowned out by the goat-to-slaughter blare of that horrible instrument. Read more!

Vuvuzuelas: Give Them a Rest

Could this be the start of the downfall in the vuvezela tyranny?

The aural cockroach of world sports -- the plastic horns beloved of South African football fans -- were unwelcomed at critical moments of the Bafana Bafana Bafana's match in Soccer City tonight vs. Colombia.

If only we could carry that over to the World Cup.

The vuvuzela is annoying as hell. It costs about 25 cents, so everyone can afford one, and it seems as if everyone does, if last year's Confederations Cup were any indication.

The sound the vuvuzela makes is a sort of one-note trumpet-like blare, and if you get enough of them going, you can't hear yourself think. And a a bit after that, you have thoughts about stuffing your head into a barrel or perhaps choking anyone blowing on a horn.

Danny Jordaan, the president of the organizing committee, said ahead of South Africa's friendly with Colombia that fans shouldn't be blowing on the vuvuzela during national anthems (thank you, Danny) and to cool it enough so that the fans in the stadium could hear instructions via loudspeaker.

Somehow, I don't think that is going to work. Soccer and vuvuzelas are so intertwined now ... any match is going to be two hours of nonstop honking.

Oh and the tournament begins two weeks from today. This thing is imminent. About time to melt down every vuvezela in the country. Read more!

'Keeper Trashes World Cup Ball

Here's guessing that Julio Cesar does not have a commercial tie with the Adidas brand.

Brazil's elite goalkeeper (and how often have those words been written in the history of soccer?) hates the new ball to be used at South Africa 2010, by Fifa fiat.

How much he not like it?

Well, he said it looks like something "from a grocery store." He also called the ball "horrible" and "terrible." And suggested it was created to make life hard for those poor hard-working men in the nets, the goalkeepers.

Hmm.

Normally, almost nothing a Brazilian goalkeeper might say could be disregarded because Brazil's goalkeepers generally were second-rate and nondescript.

Julio Cesar, however, is different: He just backstopped Inter Milan to the Champions League championship. So he has some credibility.

If you would like to see a semi-scholarly (and Adidas-friendly) review of the ball, check here.

Apparently, the hope at Adidas was to create a ball that was ... oh, perfect. "True" in flight, with a higher ratio of kicking surface because of fewer seams ...

Here is a mugshot of the ball. On amazon.com which, of course, is attempting to sell you one.

And $122 ... on sale?!? No thanks.

I believe I would be quite happy with a soccer ball from, say ... the grocery store Julio Cesar shops at.

Anyway, look for more complaints about the new ball. Athletes never like new equipment. Particularly when they think it makes their jobs more difficult. Read more!

Maybe This 'Soccer' Thing Is Catching On ...

The U.S. national soccer team had a "farewell and good luck" session with President Barack Obama today at the White House.

So maybe this "soccer" thing is catching on in the States, where "football" is a game played with a pointed ball and by very large men in helmets.

The significance?

That has never happened before, as far as my research indicates.

Bill Clinton was in the stands at Chicago in 1994 for the opening match, but it didn't involve the host nation -- it was Germany vs. Ecuador, as I recall.

In 2002, President George W. Bush called the U.S. team ahead of its second-round match with Mexico (a victory). In 2006, he called ahead of the opening match against the Czechs (a defeat).

And before Clinton, U.S. presidents couldn't be expected to know the national soccer team from any other 23 young guys rounded up off the streets. Soccer was an inconsequential sport. Didn't matter.

Grant Wahl of Sports Illustrated recaps some history of U.S. presidents and the World Cup, and it isn't a lengthy retelling. (Betcha $100 that President Herbert Hoover not only didn't know about the U.S. team at the 1930 World Cup ... he didn't know the World Cup existed.)

Obama reportedly told the players, "We're going to be proud of what you do in South Africa. And you will have somebody in the Oval Office watching ESPN to make sure things are going OK."

Rumors are that Obama will travel to South Africa if the Americans get out of Group C play.

OK, it wasn't a complete triumph ... Obama appears to have been doing a "meet the athletes" relay. Before chatting up the soccer lads, he congratulated the Duke University men's basketball team that won a national championship.

But, yeah. This soccer thing ... it may be at a tipping point. A bit of success this time around ...

American proponents of the game called soccer "the sports of the future" for so many years that critics responded by tweaking that statement with this: "Soccer is the sport of the future ... and always will be."

Actually, the future may finally be here, for the U.S. game. Read more!

Ox Sacrifice: Not Something You See Every Quadrennium

We stipulated long ago that South Africa 2010 would be like no other World Cup. For hundreds of reasons.

And here is one of them: The sacrifice of an ox at Soccer City to bless the country's World Cup stadiums, two weeks ahead of kickoff.

I am pretty sure Germany didn't sacrifice any large domestic animals at the 2006 World Cup ... and neither did Uruguay at the first World Cup, in 1930.

This is a South Africa thing.

According to the Johannesburg Times story linked above, a 70-year-old warrior of the Xhosa tribe did the honors, dispatching the beast with a spear thrust between the horns.

(Brings to mind the final thrust of a bullfight, actually. Maybe Spain did kill a bull or two, before the 1982 World Cup? But Italy won that one. Hmmm.)

The Times was told that the elderly warrior is "an expert in doing this" who was "brought all the way from the rural Eastern Cape" for the gig.

The story uses a couple of local-local words that I, at least, don't recognize, so I did some research.

A sangoma apparently is a "traditional healer" and sometimes simply referred to as a shaman.

Meanwhile, an inyanga seems to be more of a Zulu tribal concept, and according to the link is more into homeopathy than divination. And the inyanga apparently "learns from the living while the sangoma learns from the dead."

Hmm.

Doesn't hurt to have some around, presumably.

The ceremony included a blessing of "everything related to the World Cup." Does that extend to the author of this blog? Maybe not.

Let's see how South Africa 2010 turns out. Four years from now, Brazil may want to refer back to today's ox-slaughter/blessing-giving. Read more!

Hey, Wait! Mexico Is Pretty Good

As a North American soccer fan, I can't help but smile at this.

A European journalist sees Mexico play and comes away saying, "Hey, those guys are pretty good."

Even after England defeated Mexico 3-1 at Wembley on Monday.

Such is the case of this story in the Johannesburg Times, where the individual supplying the copy for the newspaper decided, "Hmm, South African could be in trouble in that World Cup opener against Mexico 17 days from now."

Twas ever thus.

Euros tend to think the United States is decent is soccer, and it is. More or less. Wins a few, loses a few.

But Mexico seems to surprise the Euros -- and apparently the Africans, too -- every four years.

What about "five straight times in the second round" do people not get? (Leaving out the 1990 World Cup, when Mexico was banned for having used an overaged player.)

Quarterfinals in 1986, round of 16 in 1994, 1998, 2002, 2006.

El Tri, as Mexico is known (because Mexico's flag has three colors), is a serious opponent. They turn out cohesive, quick and technically advanced teams. They are expected to advance, and they expect if of themselves.

If you followed the link (above) to the game story, you will note that two of England's goals came in the air, in front of the net. And yes, size and playing in the air are the two biggest issues Mexico has. And they may not be issues at all against South Africa, also not a tall team.

The optimists in South Africa figured they would beat Mexico (how good can they be?) in the opener, then sneak past Uruguay and get into the second round out of Group A.

Then they say El Tri play.

The author of the Times story also points out how challenging Mexico's schedule in the run-up to South Africa 2010 is. After England at Wembley, they now get Netherlands in Freiburg, Gambia in Bayreuth and Italy in Brussels, giving them four matches in 11 days, three of them against top-eight-ranked teams in the world.

That's a Mexico thing, too: Play the best. And certainly coach Javier Aguirre is living it. When you play Italy and England and the Dutch, how easy will the Bafana Bafana Bafana seem?

Just makes me smile. This eternal surprise: "Hey, these Mexico dudes are pretty good."

Eventually, people other than gringos and ticos will remember this. Read more!

Fill 'Er Up, and Where's the Museum?

These ideas always sound so inspired.

Hey, let's give a crash course on being a tourist guide to the guys who work at gas stations!

Which is what the city of Johannesburg is planning here in these final two weeks and change before South Africa 2010.

From the story linked above:

Employees at Sasol garages will be sent on a training course, and be able to provide helpful information on places of interest like Nelson Mandela’s former home in Soweto, or Constitution Hill in downtown Johannesburg, which celebrates South Africa’s new democracy.

"We are delighted to offer this industry-first, value-add service to our customers, both local and foreign, to ensure that they get the most out of their experience of the city of Johannesburg," Sasol Oil managing director Maurice Radebe said.

The Joburg Tourism company said the two-day training program will include different modules on tourism awareness, cultural diversity and a tour of all the tourist attractions in the city.

As we noted, a nice thought. But how practical is it?

Take if from a guy who pumped gas as a kid ... I knew where Broadway and Pine was ... but I probably couldn't tell you where civic luminaries in my town lived, back when I was a teenager checking oil and washing windows.

Maybe South Africa's pump jockeys know more about their hometown, and it's cultural epicenters ... but I'm not sure I would ask a guy at the BP where the nearest good Italian restaurant is. Or where Nelson Mandela lived, in Soweto.

More than anything this seems to be a sign of the country's enthusiasm (finally) for the event. To look at South Africa media these past few weeks is to get a sense of a country that is close to being "All World Cup all the time!"

As someone who has been watching South African media for the past year, I can say this: "It's about time people there got excited." Read more!